The Person Who Becomes Your Definition

This is something I had found forever ago, we're talking years here, and I re-found a few days ago. I think it's beautiful and holds so much truth to it.


"The last girl I love will be someone I haven't even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you actually classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you'll meet maybe four or five of these over the span of 80 years. But there's still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually.

This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occured. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist.

The person is real, and the feelings are real-- but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happen to the meet the first time you really, really want to love someone.

But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."


Gene Kelly, the most romantic man on the big screen.