Scout's Nursery

There's no other reason for this post except for the purposes of documenting her nursery. I planned how i was going to style it for a long time, and I really love how it ended up. There's not many decorating decisions i feel at peace with, but I'm in love with everything about her room. I was going for fresh and vintage and relatively simplistic. That is allll folks.

Movin' on Up

I've been meaning to write a post like this for a while. Today I feel a great sense of relief and accomplishment and scout is kicking away happily, so while I have a minute, it seems only appropriate that I take the time to write.

First, I need to express my overwhelming gratitude I always feel anytime I write or post pictures or update what's going on in my life. I feel gratitude first and foremost to the Lord for the incredible support and help we are given to be able to do anything even remotely successful. Next I just feel so much love for my friends and family, and sometimes even from friends of friends! I just wanted to thank all of you for all the kind words/encouragement you always give me and my endeavors. I feel like so often in this world others look to people who might have more than them, or who might be doing bigger things than them, have more money than them, are more beautiful than them (etc) and find ways to shoot down what they are doing. They find negative things to say or just keep their mouths shut....which is a terrible and negative way to view life! My dad always taught me differently. When someone is successful or does something great, its only natural to support them and give words of affirmation...so in any realm of life when I receive it from YOU, I totally appreciate it. I totally feel that love and internalize it.  I really don't know how to adequately describe how I feel about this. Just know that you are important to me and your support truly means so, so much to me.

I look back at just a little over a year ago and I am in awe. Not with my self, but with how far things have come. If you would have asked me last year where I thought my restaurant was going, there's no way I could have possibly even dreamt up where we are now. I still vividly remember riding on the train from  Auschwitz to Salzburg, looking out the window at the picturesque, bright green rolling hills and snowcapped mountaintops, thinking up business strategies  and discussing menu ideas with Lance. (I'll have to dig up our beginning notes. I bet in retrospect these are hilarious compared to what came to life). I remember thinking exactly how I wanted to run my shop. I knew exactly the kind of employees I wanted, and I knew exactly what kind of boss and manager I wanted to be. Another thing my dad AND mom taught me growing up was how influential a person in a leadership position can be. Often times (when we were older), my dad, for FHE, would use inspirational youtube clips or music videos, often spot-lighting people who use their position in life for good and for the betterment of others. I vividly remember people like that in my life. Those people who I could feel had a very real love for me and concern for my future and my well-being. Sitting on that train I remember thinking of all those people and their traits/teaching skills and how I wanted to incorporate that into my business. Most of all, I wanted my little restaurant to be a place where people felt real love, comfortable, creative, and needed.  That, of course, was mostly geared toward my employees, but I really feel the atmosphere of any company or restaurant or store starts at the top and permeates its way down to each customer and each experience. So above all else, that's what I knew we needed and everything else would fall in to place with a little prayer and hard work.

I can't speak for my employees and how they feel about their job. All I know is that I can honestly say I do have a very real love for all of them and deeply care about them. I can say that I really believe inside the walls of The Awful Waffle we're a little family and community. The cool part about it is that even though we're a tight-knit group, there's always room for more people. In fact, new people are welcomed. I love throwing in new personalities to the mix. With the expansion that's happening, we've added i think 15 new employees to the payroll. The other night we had a sleep over in our new, beautiful space. We played games and spent time together - veteran wafflers and newbies. I really think it felt pretty seamless, and we all were laughing together by the end of the night.

All that being said, more than how excited I am about our expansion, I am really proud of the atmosphere I/we've cultivated. It's pretty cool seeing that in a flowered place.

The road to where we are, in terms of expansion, has not been easy. I remember working 60 hour weeks at the little shop. I would sleep 2-3 hour nights, just to get up in the morning to go at it again. I slept with my phone under my pillow just in case there was an emergency to tend to, I'd be able to respond quickly. It was tough but really exciting creating the set protocol of how to make food, making great relationship with vendors (I love PepsiKen and my food distributor rep, Matt from Nicholas), creating an energy in the shop, fixing problems... the hardest part was starting out on such a tight budget and being forced to buy used equipment. One thing I learned was that used restaurant equipment is being sold for a reason. It's on it's last leg/broken. One refrigerator was promised to us that it was in perfect working condition. It was cold for 7 days and then completely stopped working. One fridge has leaked buckets since the first day we got it. The other one lasted about 4 months then totally died all together (we lost about $1000 in meats and cheeses). Our grill misfires and makes a decision to only heat one side sometimes. And it's never the same side so that's fun to figure out each day. The fryer altogether stopped working as well. Our fry-cutter wasn't installed right so it's on it's last leg too. Interestingly enough, the waffle iron we carried across belgium is the last working piece of equipment in the shop. Also, when we expanded, we had to re-wire all of our electrical systems. This wasn't done totally right so often we had breakers go out. We had to sort of do a puzzle-game to figure out what we could have plugged in at what times and for how long.   Along the way with all these malfunctions were stressful, often cost a lot of money to repair, and was always stressful. All my girls and I have come to an agreement that these times are the reason we're all so close. We had to problem solve, work together, and make do. We've had the worst landlord, issues with the city (our sign was 2 inches too big?!? so we were fined?!?) and have had some nasty customers.

One of the harder things for me was nasty customers or rude people. It's given to know that you're going to have certain people that love to make you feel they are above you, or love to belittle. There are those who go to restaurants and send everything back because it's not perfect. You have the typical happy valley cheapskate who thinks the food is too expensive (really?! no one is making you eat here! What are you complaining about?). The worst for me though are those yelp and urban spoon reviews that aren't the nicest. I feel like people on there are what I like to call "Keyboard Warriors". They will write and write and write but don't have the guts to say it to your face. The funny thing about this is that I have an extremely strict customer service policy with my girls. If someone's order is even a LITTLE wrong or over cooked or whatever and the person talks to us about it, we over-compensate. We usually give them a lot of free food to make up for the error. But no, these Keyboard Warriors have their opinion and feel the need to make it loud and heard. It's really hard to take something you've worked so hard on, cried over, lost sleep over, studied, prepared for, put your life savings in to, and devoted your life to only to be torn down by someone who thinks they're entitled to their hateful opinion. Don't get me wrong, I am the first one to SEEK constructive criticism and not only listen but to be proactive about what I'm critiqued on. But often, reviews on these websites aren't intended for constructive purposes....The worst one for me was a blog review from a member of the relief society presidency in my ward who not only wrote really hateful (and tasteless!) things about my BRAND new restaurant, but also had a lot of facts wrong about my place. That one was so hard for me for so many reasons.

The good news is, there have been WAY more positive things than negative. I've had some eloquent, beautifully written reviews about my place. My all time favorite is from Native Square. They're some pretty legit ladies over there who know their stuff. Every post they've written I've agreed with them 10000%. That only makes me feel like their opinion about us is not only valid but also in good company (pizzeria 712 anyone? yum). We have the most amazing loyal customers who rave about our food. My favorite thing is going places and overhearing people talking about it. I've had this happen to me more times than I can even count. That's also so validating to me because its unscripted, uninhibited conversation. Of course, the most amazing positive thing about this whole thing is the flattering offer we received from The Village to put our humble place in their beautiful one. They wanted us and they believed in us as not only an incredibly successful restaurant but people they wanted to work with.

And here we are. One year later. We started out with 200 square feet of cooking space, one waffle option and one crepe option, outdoor seating with no heater or refuge from the cold or rain... and now we've moved into this European, humbly swanky, 4,500 sq feet location with the best equipment on the market AND a second company added to The Waffle. I don't think people find success like that with dumb luck. It comes from a lot of hard work, being as honest as you can in everything you do, being prayerful in everything, and surrounding your self with good people. I feel more blessed than I could ever possibly describe. I feel so much gratitude and thanks towards so many people in my life. Particularly my managers/team leads in my shop. If you haven't had the opportunity to meet them - Jared, Martha, Jen and Jill - you really should stop in and ask for them. They are wonderful people who have made my life easier/better over the course of this year. Thanks to them, the new shop has taken a turn for the better and all the crazy new elements that we've added to our menu (bratwursts, italian pizza, italian gelato, savory crepes...) are amazing and artisan. I really don't think this project could have been done with out them.

Today was a success. We catered the ribbon cutting ceremony of The Village (around 200 people) and I think it went quite well. The food came out in a timely manner- delicious and perfect. I am quite positive I have hired the most incredible employees (Celeste being among them!!!) who made a potentially stressful/disastrous occasion into a not only successful but also a FUN thing.

There was a lot of rambling in this post, but I don't really apologize for any of it. I feel so much passion and happiness because of my restaurant, and one measly post could never do that justice, so this (incoherent?) post will have to suffice.

OH, and I have the best baby in the universe.

:)

Happy Birthday, Scout!

May 16 2012

My little perfect munchkin! Today is your birthday! Let me tell you exactly how everything happened.

After I was admitted into the hospital, I had zero pain issues! You were just hanging out, taking your time getting here. At exactly midnight on May 16, I had my first EXTREMELY painful contraction. It wasn't totally unbearable, though. Just hard. I figured it was a fluke so I kept the light off in order to let your dad sleep. He stayed the night last night and this night despite all the stuff he needed to get done with work and his car dealership.

The next contraction came 5 minutes later.Then another, another, all 5 minutes apart, each more and more difficult to endure and more painful than the last. I breathed quietly through those with tears in my eyes, hoping not to wake your dad still (he's a pretty heavy sleeper, luckily!). I was hooked up to a few things. Since you are early, the risk of infection is a much higher risk pre-birth, so they hooked my left arm to a clear maintenance fluid and two alternating kinds of antibiotics to help fight off any potential infections. This was probably one of my least favorite parts. I really don't like needles, especially one that gets to stay shoved into my wrist for a few days. These medicines also made my left kidney fight a little harder to filter and process things which meant I could only lie on my right side or straight up - otherwise it felt like someone was kidney-punching me. OUCH! On my tummy there were two monitors: one monitoring your sweet, strong heartbeat. The other was monitoring my stomach movements. The nurses could see any movement of both monitors from their nurse station - HOWEVER, for some reason, probably because my tummy monitor slipped off where it could detect properly, they werent picking up my contractions at their station. I had a thought to call the nurse in. She came in and asked about my pain level. I told her when i wasnt contracting i was at a zero but when I contracted the pain shot up to a 7. She made the decision to call in the guy who does the epidural. He had gone home for the night because they were sure  I wasn't going to go into labor that night. It was about 1 am by this point, one hour had slipped by that I'd quietly suffered through these contractions. I cried through a couple of the last ones of the hour - not really because of pain, but because I think I was so overwhelmed with the thought of you coming so early, with hopes that you'd come out okay with no real problems, and that I feel like I'm not quite adequate yet to be able to take care of such a sweet little soul that's just been with our heavenly father in such a pure place.

Although I was emotional for this, I always ended up with a calming, totally assured feeling that you woere going to be tough, strong, okay.

FINALLY the epidural guy came. I had to sit on the edge of the bed, hunched over for 15 minutes while he prepared my back, which meant 3 more really intense contractions came and went. I had to be extremely still during all of this which was quite difficult. Somehow he managed to slip an enormous needle and wire into my spine inbeteween contractions when I wasn't tense. I was able/blessed to feel one more contraction before my feet started to tingle - kind of like when your face starts to go numb at the dentist's office and soon enough my legs and feet were jello-ey sand bags! I say BLESSED to feel the last contraction because, looking back on the experience, I am glad I got to feel everything for a little while. Im glad I coul dfeel what God intended childbirth to feel like. There's something so special and precious that really unexplainable - especially considering how tremendous the pain was. It somehow makes me love you that much more - to go through the pain for YOU.

The nurse told us you wouldnt be coming for another 6-12 hours and that we should get some sleep. It was about 2:30 am when she told us and since the entire labor and delivery floor only had one other patient, your daddy was able to use the room next door and used it as his own personal hotel room. Your gma+gpa wakefield and uncle jared stopped in right after i got my epidural, but we sent them home until it was time for you to come. I as only dialated at a 4 anyway. So, your dad went to sleep and I totally fell into a deep sleep on my LEFT side (since I couldnt feel the kidney pain!! hooray for hospital drugs!) and had the best sleep i'd had since before I was pregnant.

Before I knew it, my night nurse's shift was almost over and she checked to see how dilated i was...and to her surprise i was at a 9! She called Dr. Hoggard to come to the hospital. It was about 530am and I could feel my feet start to tingle - which meant my   epidural was starting to wear off (YIKES)...i started feeling pressure every time I contracted, so I could tell you were coming soon! Dr. Hogardd got "stuck in construction traffic" so he didnt show up until about 6:25! I was quietly saying bad words at him in my head while I was waiting because I was a little scared you might come out with out hum!! Before the doctor got there, your dad got to reach in and feel the top of your sweet head before you were born. This totally caught me by surprise because he'd been acting kind of squeamish during the whole process.

Once the doctor got there, I went through about 4 contractions. On the final push (I think push #5) your teeny head, shoulders, and the rest of your tiny body was out to greet the world! You took about 5 seconds before you let out a sweet, feminine cry. You cried for about 15 seconds, and then they took you to the corner of the room to clean you up. Your daddy took pictures of that. They weighed you and measured you. I waited paitently to be able to hold you. It felt like hours but was more like 20 minute. Finally they put you - all 4 lbs 14 tiny oz of you - into my arms. You were so quiet, so peaceful, and I couldn't really speak. Your beautiful eyes were blinking heavily, probably adjusting to such a big, bright world, figuring out your new life. Then I said to you, "hi sweet girl!" in an excited but gentle and soft voice. Your eyes fixated on mine and an overwhelming feeling of love enveloped me and I'm positive you felt something similar. After 5 minutes, your dad stood patiently waiting to get his first moment with you. Your grandparents - Wakfields AND Cosletts (Who drove ALL the way from Texas to be here for your birth!!) naughtily stood outside my hospital room door, ears pressed against it to hear anything they could, and I think they got a glimpse of you on your way out. The nurses cleaned me up and let your grandparents in (your two aunts were very sick so they couldnt be there) - I was suprisingly not very tired and welcomed the visitors. We talked for about 30 minutes, then your sweet grandmas realized I didnt have any preemie supplies! Or a lot of baby needs in general for you! They divided and conquered duties and both families left to get supplies for you. I just love so much that they were so willing to do that for us. You really have no idea how blessed you are to have TWO amazing sets of grandparents.

They left and I was moved down to the postnatal unit downstairs since I could now feel my legs. It was around 9am. The nurses helped my body adjust and get cozy in my hospital bed. I was hoping to get a little rest since they wouldnt let me go be with you yet, but hospital staff kept coming in with paperwork, instructions, taking my vital signs, checking my tire, sore body. Finally, around 11 am, I was able to rest uninterrupted for about 2 hours. The lactation specialist came in around 1 to teach me how to breast pump for you! While she was talking to me, your dad, gma and gpa wakefield got to visit you for a bit. Once they left , I finally was able to come see you! You were so perfect and tiny. Since you are near perfect (no lung issues, no internal issues, just teeny - which isn't usually the case with babies 6 weeks early. You're so tough!) They let us hold you. Right now, it's 4 in the morning after your birthday and Im a smidge tired so I will continue this update tomorrow.


I LOVE YOU SCOUT WAKEFIELD!
Love,
Mommy

Hospital Day!

I've been keeping a journal for Scout while I was pregnant and have continued to write in it after she was born. Each journal entry is directed at her. I wrote about my hospital stay, the birth and my time in the NICU with her. The next few posts are directly copied out of her journal, partially edited for things I have intended only for her. Also the parts in a different color are things i didn't write in her journal but felt were appropriate for this. 

**WARNING** This post talks about my water breaking so if you're not interested in reading about that move along. 


May 14 2012

HOSPITAL DAY!

Girlfran, you are EARLY! June is your due date. The END of June. That makes you one month and two weeks early!

This morning around 830 am I was lying in bed. Your dad had just gotten ready for work and was sitting next to me on our bed. All of the sudden I felt a gush of fluid and it felt like I peed my pants! I got up quickly to go to the bathroom and fluid kept coming for the next 5 minutes. I frantically called your dad in to tell him that i thought maybe my water had broken. He told me to call the hospital and they instructed me to come in and get checked out. I'm pretty sure that they're used to frantic new moms SO POSITIVE their water broke or that they're going in to labor - only to find it's a false alarm because the lady was almost annoyed at my inquiry and her answer for me to come in was so routine-sounding. 

I didn't have a hospital bag packed so I frantically threw essentials into an overnight bag (but I forgot bar soap!) and we rushed to the hospital in our Jeep Liberety (which i really don't like, by the way). Once we got here  (i was writing this from my hospital bed) they tested me and admitted me! Dr. Hoggard said I am 33 weeks and 6 days pregnant - they are hoping I will hold off on giving birth for two days - they're giving me one shot per day (in my buttcheek!) to help your lungs develop quickly. Right now (11pm - I came in at 9am) I have been hooked up to antibiotics for  12 hours to make sure you dont get sicky.  For now, stay in another 24 hours, little Munchkin!

Love, 
Mommy 

Movin' On Up!

**NOTE** This post was written I think in April, so about halfway through a lot of this is written in retrospect.




So since I woke up coherently earlier than usual, bathed, and have a minute to not think about waffles, crepes and frites, I'm updating this bad boy.

Life as of about a week and a half ago has picked up significantly more than normal. We've been working on perfecting frites and authentic belgian sauces for about 6 months now (We shipped in our favorite sauces from Belgium, Lance translated the ingredients from French to English, had a chef tell us what he thought the proper amounts of each spice were, then we took off from there to measure and try and remix and change ingredients...it's been an adventure.) - and we finally were able to launch them last week. It's been a struggle, but the turn out has been incredible! The process is NOW an easy one, and customers love it. Things just keep getting better in that little shop of ours.

That's just the business side of life. Lance and I rent out our basement to a bunch of tenants. We knew that a crying baby wasn't going to go over well with a bunch of college guys, so we've been looking for another home to purchase somewhere in Provo, preferably close to both of our shops, hopefully with a view? We've been looking since around November. We found this one amazing home in Orem - it was a little far, but it was HUGE, had enormous vaulted ceilings, had like 6 fireplaces, a backyard and a huge porch, mature trees (including my favorite - a weeping willow!). It was built in the 70's but had been remodeled, so there was a lot of character without the headaches. We loved it so we started a contract to buy the house. I packed up my entire house, ready to move. The day we were supposed to pay the lady the down payment and start the moving process - actually LITERALLY the hour before Lance was supposed to meet her, he called me and told me that he had a negative feeling about it and that we shouldn't buy the house. One thing I've learned in life is to listen to those feelings, especially when they are loud and clear, so I looked at my living room, full of boxes and stacks of our belongings, and said, "okay!". That's how the entire conversation went. So over time I unpacked and we continued to look for homes. We found one more amazing home last month that I fell in love with, but we had a similar experience to the first home so we decided not to buy it. 


However, we found another home that seemed perfect for our situation. It was less expensive than all the other homes AND newly remodeled. So...we bought it! WOOHOO! I really love it too. It's 3,000 square feet - 5 bedrooms, 3 full bathrooms with a finished basement that has a kitchen, so when guests come they can feel right at home down there. 

The upstairs has huge vaulted ceilings and the kitchen is really open. There's a pretty big deck that overlooks Provo. Plus we have a YARD! It's got some work and leveling out to be done, but it's a SPACE that poor Zoe has been needing. I have a small walk-in closet and even my own sink in our bathroom. 

 Theres some wall color changing that HAS to happen, but other than that the house is pretty much perfect for now. My favorite thing is that I can talk as loud as I want (and y'all know Coslett's love being LOUD), we can play Dance Central until 2am without worrying about anything, I can even stomp around if I want and not feel guilty about our poor tenants downstairs. I'm so excited about this, seriously. 

Another really great thing is that we're renting out the top of our old house. Those of you who know me well enough know change is hard for me. That home on Stadium is where Lance and I first met, had our first date, our first kiss, our first home as a married couple...so many memories tied there. I feel so grateful that we can always revisit that place and maybe even one day our kids can live in that house and maybe find their eternal companion like we did.

Anyway, one of the original reasons I began writing this was because of overwhelming gratitude I've felt over the last few days. My parents just happened to be here for conference weekend which turned into moving weekend (which meant listening to saturday conference intermittently and while packing) because we had tenants moving in that upcoming Monday. We signed our contract for our new house on Thursday. That gave us literally two days (Sunday is the day of rest!) to pack and move. I was pretty stressed because the house needed a serious paint job and I am a million months pregnant and paint fumes aren't the most ideal thing for me to be around, AND it's much easier to paint mass amounts of area with out furniture etc in the way... I decided I'd just get over it and have to look at the awful paint until one day when I wasn't pregnant to do the job. 


Katherine and BJ and Kate were in town too which was SO much fun having the majority of my favorite people in one place at the same time.


Anyway. The next morning I walked into my new house for the first time and all the walls that I wanted to paint had been totally taped off in preparation for the inevitable paint job of the house! My dad had sneakily helped devise a plan - Nick and BJ picked up painters tape, painting kits, and drop cloths and Katherine, BJ, Heather, and Nick spent hours in the middle of the night taping up the walls for me to just make my life easier. I know that this was NOT ideal or fun for them. When I realized what my friends and siblings had done for me I was totally overwhelmed with so much love and appreciation for them. I hadn't felt so loved and thought about in so long - to think that they went totally out of their way to do this for ME, and for such a vain and superficial I wanted, meant the world to me. Not that I ever forget, but I was just yet again reminded of the incredibly wonderful, giving people that surround me. I will forever be thankful that I have such a thoughtful family and the best friends a girl could ever dream up. 

Our Little Girl

So I think it’s high time we let all of you know what we’re naming our new little friend who will be joining us in June.

Ever since I heard that song (I was probably 10?) by Kenneth Cope about the little boy who was named after his Grandpa and what that meant to him (check it out here), I felt really strongly that when I have children that I’d make sure whatever name I gave them that they’d be meaningful and a name worth living up to. (This talk is something to think about too)

I also think that naming your child something unique is important. Probably because my name (first AND middle) have been in the top 10 names for the last 25 years, Ashley being in the top 5 (I got this statistic off of the social security website), and maybe I have a tiny complex about having a number assigned to my name in elementary school to keep me distinguished from the other Ashleys....Maybe. However, I also read that awesome book Freakanomics and a theory in there is one’s name is a contribution to their success growing up socially as well as in the business world. The charts and graphs and surveys given about this topic has also always been extremely interesting to me (not sure why, It’s similar to how the topic of drug addiction and serial killers have always fascinated me. Strange, but it is what it is.) Anyway, basically I feel like a LOT of thought, research and love needs to go into naming children...and this can be a tricky decision.

That being said, ever since I read To Kill a Mockingbird when I was in 4th grade, I’ve found all the characters in the book so moving, endearing, strong, deep. It’s a little funny to say that about a young adolescent book, but I feel like TKAM is an exception to that (this isn’t Judy Bloom we’re talking about. Harper Lee is a different story). Atticus is such a powerful figure who stands up for what’s right, and I’ve always loved that. I really feel like his character is what moved me to always strive to do what’s right, even if it’s not the most popular thing to do (granted I have NOT been perfect at this, I’ve had to learn the hard way plenty of times, but I want to be that way and I feel like it’s a good thing to strive for). Jim and Boo were wonderful too. But most importantly, I loved (Jean Louise) Scout. She’s a little misunderstood by the neighborhood mothers and elderly. She’s just unusual, unique and unusually intelligent for someone her age. She loves reading. She’s incredibly confident (she fights boys!). Most importantly, I love her innate qualities that always drew me to her, made me admire her. She is extremely thoughtful to all those around her, especially those who might not deserve it or who appear strange. Her good heart gives those considered outcast a chance and unbiased love. My favorite quality of hers, however, is how GOOD she is. Not in a sense of being a good girl (because often her actions weren’t what a parent might define as “good”/obedient), but in good and pure hearted which I think is the most important quality a human can posses. Overall, I just have always loved Scout - her spunky, good, intelligent nature.

There is an essay I wrote after the first time I was required to read TKAM and in it I mentioned that one day, if I had a daughter, I wanted to name her Scout. I never really told anyone this name until recently because it’s unconventional and unusual. I finally told lance about two years ago when I dragged him to see the play with me. He rolled his eyes at me and told me that wouldn’t be the best idea to name our daughter that. As the play went on, Lance’s interest increased. Normally in situations like this he’d be asleep by the middle of the first act, but he was clearly enjoying the story. After the play was over, he told me he really liked it, and I asked him if he could see why I loved the name Scout so much. He agreed - mostly due to her sass and spunk but also because he loved how she stood up for what was right. He then told me he liked the name. (!!!!!!!)

There are a few other female protagonists that I love in a few other novels (The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe to name one)...but since Lance and I loved this one together, when we discussed potential names it just felt organic and right! I’m not nieve in the fact that there is a great possibility that she could be made fun of her name, but I feel there are so many positives and wonderful connotations to it that it makes up for any potential negatives.

Anyway, we’re so excited to meet this little munchkin. I have a feeling she’s going to be highly spirited and so sweet. I can’t wait. We love you, little Scout!

Catchin' Up.

I can't believe it's been SO long since I've taken the time to blog. I've had the urge and desire to; however, life has been so busy that the moments I have to just sit down and vegetate are taken very seriously and doing anything but staring at the History channel or TLC or whatever happens to be on the TV are cherished moments.

I don't really feel like I need to recap, but for journaling purposes I suppose a quick (?) one couldn't hurt. There are absolutely zero pictures here, so i commend you if you actually read this entire post.

We got home from Europe and hit the ground running (almost quite literally. Lance didn't even allow himself a single day to adjust to jet lag). Lance started getting his dealership out of the shambles it fell into while he was gone and I began looking for a place to harbor our new found love for European food. Two very disappointing weeks later, I finally caught a break and we signed a lease to one of the most incredible locations in Provo. At the time we were nervous about the lease we signed. Over the last 20 years, this space hadn't kept a tenant longer than 8 months, and the tenant that HAD stayed for a long time was the real estate office for the surrounding apartments. There had been a paintball store (random?), flower shop, and many other things. However, when Lance and I prayed about it, the overwhelming feeling of support we felt from the Lord was undeniable. My dad told us if we didn't sign the lease there he would (dad has always been our biggest business support), so those two things left us no choice. We signed the lease and started remodeling.

The process was long and extremely frustrating (about 2 months). Lance thought he had found two much older, very successful men that would be an asset to him and the growth of his company, and decided to partner with them. With that faith in mind, he dumped all our savings into the remodel (including all the restaurant equipment), knowing we'd continue to have some source of income to fuel our business endeavors. I totally immersed myself into this new restaurant. I did a LOT of research, a lot of trial and error with protocols, recipes, etc (while simultaneously running our little shave ice shack). We had to fight the OH so lovely Provo City on numerous things, pay unnecessary fines and fees to them for random things (your sign is a quarter inch too big (?), you don't have the right door hinge on your front door (?) ).

My mom's good friend Holly proposed an interesting idea to me - cater her friend's daughter's wedding!! A few weeks before our opening day, I did just that. Due to my lack of experience and under estimating food cost, I lost probably a few hundred dollars while doing the event but gained an incredible new way of seeing my business - how I might run things - understanding actual costs.

We soon had a soft grand opening where we invited blogger cJane and the Mayor to help get the word out. They both blogged about us which helped launch us into the public's eye a little more. The success of our shop was incredible. We were so blessed, to say the least, and had SO much overwhelming support from our family and friends. Almost every single day there were lines all the way to the street and we were running out of strawberries and raspberries every night. This meant Costco employees and I got onto a first name basis with one another. Lovely.

I spent often 17 hour workdays at the shop. I was exhausted, excited, happy, sometimes defeated - especially when I read my first negative review in August. I printed that out and even cried a little over it. I read and reread that review probably 20 times. That was the first and last time I let a nasty review ACTUALLY affect me. I decided then and there that no matter what, there will always be Keyboard Warriors who just like to be hateful... and that, GASP!, Not EVERYONE is going to like the product I offer! I came to terms with that fact and since then, any negative remark I've read has been taken in stride and I've used them as a tool to only make my shop better.


During these 17 hour shifts, Lance was working to create a new dealership essentially with out pay (somehow the deal he worked out with these potential investors included that...I don't know how), and while our restaurant was booming, we still could only really afford to buy groceries and gas for ourselves because we were still learning about the process - food costs, employee costs, taxes etc, and made monetary errors along the way. Needless to say, from July 2010 to December 2010 was one of the most trying times we'd experienced in our marriage. Not that there was fighting, but when there are lack of funds and sleep, things tend to get a little frayed and worn down. Luckily we had a few tools we'd acquired over the last 2 years that helped us through all of this.

For starters - one of the things that initially drew me to Lance was his incredible faith in the Lord. No matter how tight things would get or how scary the near future looked, he always said, "The Lord will provide. We just need to keep living our lives right and He will take care of us." And guess what? He sure did. Lance made sure we made our monthly (sometimes bi-monthly) trip to the temple, and we both made it a point to be faithful and diligent in magnifying our callings, going to church with meaning, and doing the daily things like saying our prayers and reading our scriptures (we finished the BOM!). I love that about him. He's instilled a stronger sense of faith in me - and if there's one thing I learned from these last 6 months, it's that the Lord WILL take care of you. He always does.

Don't forget that we're defiantly humans and sometimes that faith can get a little lost in the heat of the moment. Luckily we had just backpacked through EUROPE with the tiniest budget anyone on the face of the earth has ever had when backpacking, we were starving a good portion of the time, often didn't know where we were going to sleep that night, we'd missed trains and buses, lived in clothes (appx 5 days worth for almost a month) that literally HAD NOT been washed the entire time we were traveling, had almost been mugged in our sleep, gotten lost and separated from each other with no way to find each other again, spending literally 24-7 together, tired and sore feet, sometimes freezing weather conditions...the list goes on - and we came out of that better friends, stronger, happier...and honestly we only fought ONE time during that entire journey. ONCE. I am still in disbelief about that. Now, in retrospect, I see how much we had to rely on each other. I relied on Lance for protection, safety, and planning. He relied on me for (I think?) emotional support, spousal support, and I think just general belief in HIM as the patriarch. Lance also learned to have a little more social skills - we were sleeping on stranger's couches, so his silent suzy act had to disappear with out question. No stranger would let us stay in their home longer than half a day if we weren't friendly. To me, this is one of my favorite things that Lance gained...how to smile and be personal with strangers.

I see how this entire experience created this incredible foundation for the next year of our life. The backpacking experience was a very condensed and concentrated journey that prepared us for the highs and lows we'd soon experience in trying to build a foundation for our monetary future. I know for a fact that the strength we built in our relationship then came into play almost daily this last half year. I'm so grateful that I was raised to have a positive outlook on life. There are a few small things that I can see in myself that I can out loud say I am proud of, and one of them is that when I am in a negative situation, I have the ability to seek out the lesson I am supposed to learn out of it - or at least having faith that soon I will look back on the hard time and see how I've grown and understand the importance of that. I have to give credit of that skill to my parents. They both grew up in severe adversity and became amazing, successful, LOVING humans when all signs said they should grow up to be heathens. (So, thanks, Mom and Dad!)

Anyway, in the middle of this chaotic, fun, exciting time in our lives, we found out around Halloween that I was PREGNANT! Surprisingly, this didn't add any kind of stress to what we were feeling at that time. It just felt like this pregnancy was great timing for so many reasons, and only kicked both our butts into gear to make our businesses something lucrative and substantial. Lance finally decided that this deal with these new "honest" men was, in fact, essentially sour and unfair, so he cut ties with them and began building a new car dealership with my dad and some serious faith. I, in the mean time, had been able to spend less and less time at the shop (which was good because although I was never sick during my first trimester, I was a narcoleptic and was able to sleep a good amount) - but we were gearing up to launch our new savoury menu and two new options for waffles at the shop, and I was nervous about that. We had another round 2 of remodel over Christmas break (we shut down for about 2 weeks), and I was able to go home for about that long to spend a slightly delayed Christmas with my family because my little brother was coming home from his mission he served in Brazil! The shop reopened while I was in Texas. I don't know why I left the shop in the hands of two boys (lance and his bff kenny, who he served a mission with) with no love or real interest in food, restaurant management, or knowledge of how I treat my employees, because when I came back (we'd been reopened about 5 days) almost all of my employees were ready to quit and my manager (who has been a GREAT blessing for me, by the way) was VERY unhappy with everything. I quickly turned on my damage control gear, kicked out Lance and Kenny, told them their manliness was no longer needed (the remodel was finished), and I nursed our little shop back to health...which also meant 17 hour days again. No employees quit and our new waffles were a hit! The success started coming back quickly and almost too easily. Lance got his dealership going, and we were finally able to breathe again.

From this point on things have only gotten better. I am amazed every day at the wonderful-ness of my employees. I thank the Lord in my nightly prayers that he blessed me with such smart, savvy, sharp, spunky girls that work for me (one being my adorable little sister). They really are the reason my little restaurant has had so much success. They work so hard for not the best pay, so I truly feel overwhelming love for them often. I truly feel like they are all little sisters to me, and have found a real love for all of them.

Lance was chosen to be in the top three finalists for Student Entrepreneur of the Year at BYU, which is an INCREDIBLE honor. He was nominated for his dealership and the great success he had had over the last year and a half. (The guy who owns jDawgs was a winner one year for this prize and Lance has always said if he gets that award it will be one of the best things ever). He had to give a presentation (had less than 24 hours to prepare) in front of 400 students and 3 judges/ He walked away with 2nd Place and $5,000 - and although he didn't win the title, two of the most prestigious men in the business program at BYU asked him to go eat dinner with them so they could talk. This has put him on the map in the business world and his phone hasn't stopped ringing since. Luckily, he was able to talk about The Awful Waffle during his presentation which got the word out to some students who didn't know who we were. During the ceremony it was really neat because there was a thing trending on twitter where you could use a # and then SEOY (the event) and tweet whatever. I was following this and SO many people were tweeting about Lance and how they KNEW he was going to win and how interesting the story was. At the end, lance also won the Audience Choice by 65% (!!!) and an extra $100. That, to me, is almost more cool than winning first place. The people loved him! Somehow, Lance has remained pretty humble about himself and is determined to win first place next year. I love that he's still working so hard and doesn't really love talking about the whole ceremony. I'm extremely proud of him and think he's so smart and talented! My kids are going to be so lucky to have such a great teacher and example to live/look up to.

The shop has become a sort of land mark in provo - a place for college kids to go for date night. I love that The Awful Waffle is not only a "place" noun, but it's also a "thing" noun. People say "I just ate an Awful Waffle", not just "a waffle from that waffle place by jDawgs". I even saw a kid post on their facebook use it as a noun, "We just went Awful Waffling". I love it.

Really, after putting this NOT so short story on paper, I can mostly say I'm so grateful for trials. I am a much stronger, less naive, more sure human than I was exactly a year ago, and it's all come from what I've BEcome out of the dust of things. It's interesting how we are put through trials for a reason, that's for dang sure, and how obvious that has become to me. I love that things are getting better, more successful, more sustained - all the things we have been working toward. We now have three potential people who want to open up franchise type locations of The Awful Waffle in salt lake, north salt lake, and in Utah Valley.

To recap, things we've gained this year:
*FIRST and foremost, my FIRST NIECE! Little Madeline, who I love more than I could possibly understand and explain. That's been fun for me even though I haven't been able to see her as much as I'd like to
*A new baby girl, growing in my belly!
*Strength I didn't know I had
*A stronger marriage
*More faith
*Success
*Awards
*My little brother back from the mish!
*A heightened love for our families and the support they give us, my older sister for always spreading the word about our restaurant, the advice and love mom and dad have given us, and the physical support and love my amazing in-laws have provided us, my little sister for being such a wonderful employee, my brother for being an awesome emotional support for me...
*A heightened love for my friends (which my next blog will be about) and the support they provide
*And so much more.