The Funeral

I've hated them since the day I met Lance.
CJ has too.

They've been a part of him since his mission, and he's refused to cut the apron strings; they mean too much to him.

They've been with him through thick and thin.

He's worn them down until they stopped being a help and started being a burden.

But he didn't care.

He loved them; they were hard workers. They took so much abuse. They've been around the world - they understand his needs.

They were low-maintenance - exactly what Lance needs in a companion, and they were always there for him no matter what the occasion.

I've tried and tried to get him to purify his life and distance himself from them - but to no avail.

Until Dad came into town.

Dad's got a way - a way of talking sense into people...and with Lance if he's not the one footing the bill, he's even MORE apt to listen.

We were at Walmart, and dad needed some "Throwaway workshoes" - We scanned the isles and found a $9.00 chuck-look-alike pair. Lances eyes got big and Dad said "my brotha, lets get you a pair." So off they went with matching shoes - dad's the kahaki ones, lance the black ones.


me: "Lance, does this mean you're going to get rid of them?"
lance: ".......yeah......"
me: "YESSS! okay let's have a service for them and we can let them go."

I told him he had to let them go himself- he had to make the choice himself or else he might resent me forever.

He said a few words, and I said a few words (and a few words of thanks in my head)

And we tossed them in the trash - Goodbye forever.




Goodbye forever - shoes that make your feet smell like you stepped in dog poopie.
Goodbye forever - shoes that are just aesthetically unattractive.
Goodbye forever - shoes that could make the ugliest outfits uglier, or ruin a perfectly darling outfit.
Goodbye forever - shoes that are missing a shoe lace because Lance used one as a make-shift- leash for Zoe one time in Salt Lake.
Goodbye forever - shoes that started cutting into your ankles because you wore all the padding and cotton down due to wear-and-tear.

Goodbye. Lance will miss you. I will not.




Hellooooo new (hopefully these will actually stay) work shoes.